okay i have to rant this out and lj this is what you're for right?

i should start with how my day went lol so anyway Genie took leave today(smart girl so that she'd have a loooooong weekend lmao) and so we three met up for lunch, watched movie & had coldstone creamery again heehee! wanted to watch Limitless at first but changed our minds and watched Death Bell 2 that has Jiyeon & Yoon Si Yoon! ^__^ good movie tho predictable as said by Genie haha! coldstone creamery next and we were so high after eating ice cream HAHAHAHA and i guess i got even hungrier cos i bought old chang kee and gongcha after that! .____.

Dad called and texted me that NTU sent me an 'admission' letter! i legit freaked in the bus i swear and i just wanted to run home then. and just nice, there was a traffic jam at Newton area and i made a split second decision to get down and take a train home! which was what i did lol and texting Liyana like crazy cos i was so nervous and a million thoughts were running thru my head. particularly 'confirm a letter or rejection!' and my heart was thumping so hard i couldnt even do anything to slow it down.

THEN mum called me when i was at the junction near my place and she told me that NTU ACCEPTED ME AS A STUDENT THERE DOING BIOLOGICAL SCIENCES! i was surprised i didnt scream in the bus tbh :/ and i said 'ma you're not joking right?!?!?!' i swear the person beside me was staring since she wasnt plugged into anything etc and my mind was really blank. i teared when mum told me it was real but there wasnt much tears coming out after that cos i was just too shocked and definitely didnt believe it till i saw with my own eyes OTL ;~~~; i called Liyana and told her the news and srsly it feels weird saying 'i got accepted into NTU' o___o she teared up when she knew :') only we both know how sucky it was to go thru university admissions shit together but im glad i had her <3 then i called my cousin, who generously told my whole family i got accepted into NTU lol 

AFTER WHAT IT FELT LIKE A MILLION YEARS(AND I'VE NEVER WANTED TO REACH HOME THIS BADLY EVER), i finally reached home ugh and saw the letter and scanned thru each word and yeah, it finally dawned on me and i believed NTU accepted me. you've no idea what it felt like.. to feel like a freaking university accepted me, with mediocre grades and all. and esp im from polytechnic, what are the odds i'll be accepted man!? i srsly was alr planning my future without uni, idk i just didnt dare to dream of university. and now im finally in this phase, yeah im going university. and it scares me. so much more than polytechnic. :/ and i was on the NTU website for my course and im like 'im gonna be doing all these?' O________O sigh atm i just cant believe it alright? even if ppl tell me to believe it. i guess i need time to adjust to it. 

now what is going thru my mind is school fees ahhhhh T_______T but havent discussed that with my family, most probably tmr when dad gets back from work. and i guess i need a talk with my cousin and friends bout this. to tell my thoughts out loud yeah that always work for me. 

lol btw 21 is a lucky number for me or what? exactly one month ago was my birthday and today, i got accepted into university. Alhamdulillah :')

yay got this mood back to update lj again! wanted to update ytd but lj was being a major troll orz ;~~~; it's fine again now! 

so yesterday was another great day out of the many osm days i've been having Alhamdulillah. finally met one of my bffs after so long! :3 Glande couldnt make it during mine & Andy's birthday celebration so she met me ytd and it was Ben & Jerry's free cone day! ^___^ we went together last year and this year so we decided to make it a yearly ritual for us both! :') i had the same flavour as last year's, cookie affair cos it's osm like that lol! caught up on our lives together, tho not much is going on in mine so i was being the listening ear for her.

from PS, we walked back to ION orchard and had lunch at Swensens. i swear the lunch deal is really worth it mang! main dish with free side or dessert cmon who wouldnt like it! lol so we being the usual typical singaporeans, chose the most expensive side kekeke! but after having dessert first then a proper lunch, we were damn stuffed by the time we finished lunch! so we walked off our lunch arnd town lol and im so glad i brought her arnd town okay that town noob! i was so surprised to find out she hasnt stepped into town much since her college days like wth woman?! o___o while me, always stepping foot into town lmao!

OH she finally gave my bday present hohoho! i was really touched by her present actually! she was telling me to guess what it was and i was like 'hmm smth i can use?' wrong answer, said it was smth i'd drool over and it was abit superficial on the surface lmao! jeng jeng jeng, it was a scrapbook of all my favourite boys in the music industry! be it kpop or not~ but i was really happy she did it, i mean she had no knowledge of the boys that i loved etc and she told me the story of how she had to research for SHINee, changmin, PATD, mcfly, BSB and TCF hahahaha and i had a good time for awhile laughing at her and ofc spazzing over my scrapbook! the last time someone did this for me was Liyana! :3 

spent my day with Glande Yap, one of my bffs <3 + the scrapbook she made for me :3










then after we parted ways, i went back to wak yah's place to chillax before heading out for dinner with them! it was wak ani's treat heehee and we went all the way to this ulu place near Sembawang park! i never knew this place existed hokay and my aunt told me it used to be the kampungs last time! oh i see... but it was scary to go there at night imo orz ;~~~; BUT the wind and atmosphere were so perfect i swear! i didnt feel like i was in Singapore! cos it was really beside the sea! ^^

anyway! reached that place and there were lots of lizards on the walls fml and luckily we sat away from it! D: but the food was really good! and it was worth it for 11 people imo~ my bb girl was so entertaining i swear HAHAHAHA i love this kid of mine! :') she learns how to speak so fast! i mean yeah still the words are jumbled up but to understand what a toddler is saying at 2 years old shows that she's good okay! she can speak some words and string it into improper sentences very well! <3 all in all, i had a very enjoyable time with my family and there's no words to say how much i love them, tho i suck at expressing them :(

today was just normal, hung out at my cousin's place again yup and i got another job offer! hopefully i'll get it insyaAllah :) i really want that KL graduation trip to be a reality! ;____;

if you havent guessed it alrdy, yes im finally 20. /inserts dramatic music dundundundun/ the day i no longer have 1 as the first digit in my age orz! i dont even remember how was it like when i turned 10? ;A; perhaps i was too young to comprehend i was gonna have a double digit in my age then lmao! well being 20 is not too bad lol tho i think people still think i dont look 20! ;~~~;

Alhamdulillah I had a very good birthday week with my loved ones, that was what made me happiest! :') okaaaaaaaaay so from that week, i can only truly remember celebrating with my family, my kpop ahjummas, Siying, superstars and my rojak gang the week after yup! to be honest, I got most of what I wanted this year kekeke or more like i shamelessly asked my loved ones for it puahahahaha! which ofc means my family luh! iam only a brat when im with them just cos im the youngest hoho! ^_____^

other than the fantabulous company that i had and trying out new food places(like teppanyaki at Sembawang with my family, Pizza Capers at Katong with Siying & Texas Chicken with superstars), some of the things i got were personalized bday cake, froggie stuff(lmaoooo go figure if you cant guess), shawl, toms, bag, audio technica headphones and i cant rmb what anymore. oh i got for myself DBSK's keep your head down repackaged album hehehe and again, if you havent guessed, yes im into them these days! :3

very very very to the power of beyond thankful for everything and all the people in my life, there's a reason why they are in it~ :') friends come and go in my life all the time and at the end of it, i know who're the ones who've stayed and are staying always and i hope i'll stay in theirs for as long as possible too. <3 

being 20.. honestly has not much impact on me at the moment. just the usual teasings that im old and im no longer a teenager or youth etc lol! but really, i cant believe that there are now poly or JC students who are younger than me! silly but i used to think that poly or JC students are always older than me but dundundun now im even older than them! ok that's a weird theory hmm ;~~~; or maybe the world is just fast catching up with me :( or maybe it's cos when i turned 20, i was also done with my tertiary education too so i guess i 'felt' like an adult in a sense? like there wasnt anymore school or studies for me to look forward to. ok ok i will talk bout this anymore! xD 

speaking of which... i had my virgin aka first ever job for 3 days HAHAHAHAHA yeah i know no big deal right? but oh well at least to me, i finally experienced the feeling of earning money on your own! and it does feel good! :D job opportunities havent been coming in much but my cousin had a contact that was offering jobs so maybe who knows insyaAllah. heehee cant wait for my pay tho! but gonna settle all my debts for korean albums first orz ~____~

AHHHHHHHHHHHH was talking bout graduation trip plans with bf too! if all goes well, hopefully we get to go KL in june!!!!!!! :D i cant wait alrdy sobs T___T fun with my girls, getting to noms any kindov food we want and SHOPPING wheeeeee! okay better not get too excited hohoho~ 

alright that's enough spouting nonsense alrdy, need my sleep now, it's been fun ranting things out to here and myself lmao! 

GDI LJ BEING A TROLL AND NOT LETTING ME PUT PICS D:<

im back after months and months of missing from lj world(not that anyone remembers me anyway) and i wasnt really missing tho, just busy living in my twitter bubble. ^___^

so many many things happened over the past 7 months holy shit wow i didnt realise that's how long i havent updated my blog puahahaha oh well as usual both good and bad ofc but i hope whatever happened then, i learnt a good lesson from them so yeah. 2010 was also the year i learnt the meaning of friendship, who to trust, what kind of human characters are there out in the world. felt as tho i saw too much at the moment tho i know more worse shits will happen and cant be compared to that. but ofc at 19(now im 20 alrdy fml but more on that later) i had enough of whatever happened. if i managed to get into university, i just dont want to to go thru the same old shits again, i really hope not. D:

wow speaking bout that.. the 2 most major events that happened in the span of 7 months is well.. DUNDUNDUNDUN... IM FINALLY A POLYTECHNIC GRADUATE BISHESSSSSSS!!!!!!!! HUHUHUHUHU GETTING MY DIPLOMA IN MAY, 25TH MAY 2011 TO BE EXACT, AKA SHINEE'S 3RD ANNIVERSARY!!!! WHAT ELSE CAN BE MORE PERFECT THAN THIS. <3 OH WAIT, BFF GRADUATING ON THE SAME DAY AS ME TOO NOW EVERYTHING'S COMPLETE ^___^ she's getting hers in the afternoon tho, im getting mine in the morning! :')

time for reflection aka stuff i dont or cant tweet cos i dont wanna bombard my tlist with my thoughts(my spazzings are enough alrdy i bet) so yeah. After all that has happened in a span of 3 years in Ngee Ann Polytechnic, good and bad, im finally graduating with an official diploma Alhamdulillah :) idk i still feel like it's so surreal that 3 years have flown this fast and Im getting a damn effing diploma D-I-P-L-O-M-A okay it's such a big deal idek.. I mean, i honestly never dreamed of this day happening, as weird as this may sound. when i got into poly, i was like 'oh okay coolios so at the end of 3 years im getting a diploma..' but the thought of it sinking in my soul or self never really got to me ;~~;

then when my final day of being in poly came, which was the day of my FYP presentation, it finally dawned on me.. 'this is it huh? im really done here. i've nothing else to study for, unless university wants me' yknow honestly it feels very weird not to study? :( cos i've been studying half my life. after O levels doesnt count cos you surely will end up continuing your studies somewhere or someway. but after getting a diploma, the path for you to work, to earn money, is there. instead of just studying 24/7 knowing you'll go somewhere but after this, idk i feel as tho im really gonna step into adulthood and be pushed into a whole new darkness and having to find my own light there.

and right now, idk what im doing with my life. idk which direction im headed to, work or more studying. truthfully i still wanna study but sometimes i feel as tho the reason for me to study is to avoid being in adulthood, despite my age screaming that im alrdy an adult. idk till when i have to think bout what to do with my life. I told myself, if university doesnt accept me, that's it im going out to work. cos that's when i'll finally realize i cant run away from reality anymore and gotta face it somehow. i know i sound like im contradicting myself but ugh it's always an internal battle with yourself yknow what i mean?

so, treasure your school life while you can, really. :') when you think life is getting difficult at a certain age, just think that things are just gonna get even harder than that as your age increases. which is what i always tell myself and that's why i always stop myself from complaining too much bout life cos it's gonna get harder anyway. 

RIGHT. END OF MY MILESTONE REFLECTION LMAO k gonna post this first to whoever wants to read ^__^ my 20th birthday post ah.. shall be up soon. soon meaning a long time lmao or i may just surprise youuuuuu~ 
 

Wow let's see.. Today was a good day! ^^ I was out with my family the whole day and Iam so thankful my family is my family. Idk I mean shit happens to my family like any other family but it makes me love them more each time. 

So anyway, we went to Sakura for buffet lunch, Mama's treat! My sis & I were like, huh what's the occasion.. until Abah told us it was for my sister's 26th birthday! Sigh that woman is so old now, okay Iam not any better, Iam freaking 19 years old now. Old alrdy okay. I mean, when you go out and you notice guys, half the time I realise the guys are younger than me wtfffff~ cos they'll be in their school uniforms and definitely not JC boys. Okay so where has my fellow 91-ers and above been hiding!??! All run to Korea is it... >____> I apologize to those who are older than me, it's just what I think at 19 hehe. 

OKAY back to the point.... So I was so excited for the lunch la, okay honestly in my family, I get my way hehehe cos Iam the youngest and I'd just barge my way thru for my family to agree with my decisions LOL! I feel Iam entitled to that cos yeah, they're my family and it's only to them Iam being a spoilt brat so I guess it's fine! HAHA. We ate so much and tried all the food you dont usually get everyday. Like expensive seafood etc. So me & Kakak were totally noms-ing on the raw seafood and sushi and grilled seafood hahaha! H-E-A-V-E-N~!!!!!!!!!!! and it was amusing to see my parents try out new foods! :D so overall, I was a really happy girl today.

Then after lunch, we walked arnd town and omg, my dad is major fail + LOL I tell you! he's just damn epic with his jokes and Iam glad he's my father, a funny guy to the max, considering that my mum is the stricter/conservative one between them! <3 he hasnt seen ION and 313 I think so you can imagine how jakun my dear father was! HAHAHAHA! 

We visited my grandma at Woodlands after that and it's been a loooooong time since we visited her! Stayed there for a few hours and both Dina & Ryan have grown so much! Dina still looks so skinny despite being the same age as Sophie! )': AND MY DEAR RYAN IS SO THE GELAP NOW HAHAHAHA! Played too much outdoors, oh well he's a guy what. Oh before we left, Azri came back with his girlfriend and mind you, he's 2 years younger than me and woah okay, his gf is so pretty!! What surprised me more was the fact he dared to bring home the girl to introduce to his parents and my grandma! :O

So yeah then my family left for home. I commented bout what just happened to my parents la. AND YKNOW WHAT THEY SAID. THEY HOPE FOR ME TO BRING MY FUTURE BOYFRIEND HOME TOO TO INTRODUCE TO THEM~!!! I WAS LIKE COMPLETELY TAKEN ABACK BY WHAT THEY SAID, ESP MY MUM~!!!! I mean, knowing how my mum is like, I wouldnt dare bring home my future boyfriend to meet my parents unless it's really serious business kindov dated for a long time alrdy that type. Then I clarified with my parents again.. you really want me to bring home my future boyfriend to introduce to you both?? THEY SAID YES. Cos they feel it's important that they know what kindov guy Iam dating and etc etc. And tbh, I was touched, esp by my mum. Never in a million years I'd think she'd be this open-minded to let me bring home my boyfriend to introduce to them, when dating still. Haha in a way, I think she thinks Iam at the okay age to have a boyfriend and yada yada. 

Fasting is gonna begin in bout 4 days time! Iam looking forward to it and I hope it's the time I'd have peace of mind. :) 

Right now, I dont feel like Iam part of where I usually am. Go figure~ 

Whoohoo! I have a chance to win this cd!

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 I feel sad today, Idk why. No, actually I feel all kinds of emotions today. I tell people not to get paranoid but I myself am. If someone were to ask me what's wrong with me, I've no answer for them cos I myself cant get my thoughts straight. Okay here I go again babbling Idk what. 

Today is one of those days I just wanna curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep, for reasons I dont even know of. I just feel the want to. Where you just wanna contemplate life and what's in front of you in your life now. My brain/mind is not exactly where I wanna be right now. 

LOL hi, my 2nd update for the night. And uhm, just wanna say that I'll try to update as often as I can, without feeling all lazy or whatnots. BUT BEWARE, IT MIGHT BE KPOP-FIED INSTEAD SO DONT BASH COS I ALRDY WARNED YA. 8D 

Okeh so let's see.. Besides SHINee, I've been into B2ST or Beast lately. And recently, I went to their autograph session(2 weeks ago to be exact) and OMFG IT WAS REALLY ONE OF THE BEST TIMES EVER IN MY LIFE. I GOT TO MEET 6 SUPER VERY GORGEOUS GUYS UP CLOSE COS THEY SIGNED MY ALBUM DUH(BETTER THAN SHINee NGL COS CHYEAH I DIDNT GET TO MEET THEM UP CLOSE OKAY) AND I SPAZZED SO EFFING HARD AT ONE PARTICULAR GUY CALLED JANG HYUNSEUNG. <3 HE'S LIKE MY 2ND BIAS NOW IDEK.... AFTER MINHO OF COURSE HEHEHE COS THAT GUY CAN NEVER BE REPLACED LA HEH. OR MORE LIKE I LOVED HIM LONGER SO CHYEAH. <3 SURREAL EXPERIENCE ONCE AGAIN AHHH~ :D 

In my real life.. Iam in my 3rd & final year now, at NP still lmao and yeah kindov struggling with projects and whatnots. But learning to cope with it I hope cos I cant afford to screw this up. Idek what I wanna do after high school ends. Work? Continue studying? This question is forever playing in my head and I've no answers for that so all I can afford to do now is to just do my best and see how it all works out. HWAITING AH NURUL! :D 

About my friends, I lost some of them along the way, be it intentionally or unintentionally, and sometimes, I cant blame anyone but myself. So for now, I treasure all that are in my life and there's a reason why some of us are not friends anymore or just awkward with each other. Okay I dont admit much here but there you go. 

Sometimes, I wish my ever-spinning brain/mind would just stop altogether. Iam amazed at how the mind works.